THE SETTING...HER HOME: JENNIFER LOPEZ COVER COMPLEX MAGAZINE

 The setting, her home...after dinner....in mommy mode:

Our interview takes place after dinner, in a book-lined office/study neatly crammed with all types of J.Lo memorabilia-but not before Lopez reminds her kids, twins Emme and Max, that they have school tomorrow, and have to be in bed by 8 p.m. When she finally enters, Jennifer is barefoot and looking super comfortable in ready-for-bed wear. Yes, the icon wears regular pajamas, and she looks great. Speaking with the aura of a seasoned self-help guru, she reveals how she got to this happy place.

 On fairytales about relationships that little girls are taught:

Yeah, well, that’s what we’re taught when we’re little. Little girls are taught that especially. Prince Charming is gonna come along. You’re going to live happily ever after, and then that doesn’t happen. You have your first boyfriend in high school and that falls apart and you’re like, “What’s going on?” [Laughs.] All of these things get shattered one by one. It’s so unfair. Nobody teaches us the important thing from when we’re young, which is to value yourself and love yourself, and then you can share happiness and love with other people. That’s what we should be teaching kids, not fairy tales about Prince Charming rescuing you. Or that you have to be Prince Charming and rescue this girl. It’s funny, we’re formed from the time we’re 0 to 7. We’re battling the rest of our lives trying to figure that out. And now that I have my own kids, I think about that stuff a lot, like, what do I want to teach them? I want them to have fantasies and the fairy tales and all that, but at the same time I want them to know what is important, which is to have a great sense of self and to be good on their own.

 On whether relationships between older women and younger men can work:

Is it possible for relationships to work when the guy is older than the girl? [Yes.] Well, then I would say yes. [Laughs.] What would be different?

 On celebrity hacking being a trade off for fame/fortune:

[Laughs.] Oh! When you become rich and famous, you don’t have feelings anymore?! That’s what it is. OK! C’mon. It’s not about having money in the bank. You can have all the money in the world and it doesn’t mean you’re a happy person. Money doesn’t solve problems. It makes some things easier but it just gives you a different set of problems. Everything has a trade-off in this world. I’ve learned that from being broke as hell and having money.

 On beautiful women who are insecure

It’s not just beautiful women. It’s all women. And it’s all men, too. It’s everyone. People are more surprised when they hear that somebody who is attractive is insecure. I don’t understand that because, again, we’re all human. Nobody looks in the mirror and goes, “That person is so perfect!” It’s just the nature of a human being that they have insecurities. You try to do things that you’re proud of to boost up your self-esteem and your integrity. At the end of the day, you’re the only person who can give that to you. That’s something that everybody struggles with at one time or another. I’m no different than anybody else in that sense.

 On the endless rumors that have followed her through a 20 year career

The rumors at that time were so endless. I still haven’t figured that all out completely. I’ve thought sometimes, “Was it because I was a woman? Was it because I was a minority?” [Laughs.] I was like, “Why me? Why are they picking on me so much? What have I done?” It’s funny. Men get praise when they are successful, like, “Look how great he’s doing.” Women get criticized for some reason. I don’t understand it. All I know is that because I’ve stuck around for so long people realize, “Oh, that must not be true.” [Laughs.] “We finally got to know the real her.”

On concerns about daughter Emme and the plastic surgery phenomenon

Yeah, what is she gonna want to do, or how good is she gonna feel about herself? I hope to show her from example that you have to love yourself for who you are. And that doesn’t mean that you can’t do things to enhance yourself, like work out, or if somebody wants to get a nose job. I don’t know. You can take a hard stance on things and then eat your words later. All I’m saying is, at the end of the day, you got to feel happy about who you are inside, and then you can make good choices for yourself.

 On critics of her "Booty" video being too sexy for a mother to take part in

I’m not allowed to be sexy because I’m a mom? It’s like, How do you think I got my children? [Laughs.] The truth is I don’t want to do anything that they would be embarrassed of in the long run. But at the end of the day, they care more about me being there, taking care of them, than if I’m sexy in a video. And I’m not saying that one day they may not be like, “Mom! Why did you do that?!” [Laughs.] But I don’t think that in 10 years I’m going to be doing that either. Again, it’s about what feels good to me in this moment. It felt right. It’s a good message for women. I’m standing next to this girl who is 24 years old and I’m in my 40s and there’s no difference. Women need to see that and feel that. You can’t let the fear of what people might say or think stop you from doing what you want to do or else we would never do anything.

Photo credit: Complex magazine...

BUHARI'S CERTIFICATE : JONATHAN ADMINISTRATION ARE PLAYING DANGEROUS GAME..APC WARNS

The APC has reacted to the statement the military released today about Buhari's certificate.See below

The All Progressives Congress (APC) has warned that those who are bent on destroying its Presidential Candidate, Maj.-Gen. Muhammadu Buhari, on the basis of his certificates may end up destroying the country's military.

In a statement issued in Lagos on Tuesday by its National Publicity Sec. Alhaji Lai Mohammed, the party warned that the PDP and the Jonathan Administration are playing a dangerous game by trying to compromise the military in order to satisfy selfish political objectives, and urged the military, as a symbol of national unity, to beware of those who may be seeking to use it to achieve selfish and divise ends.

It said the statement credited to the Nigerian Army Director, Army Public Relations, Brig-Gen. Olajide Olaleye, at a press conference in Abuja on Tuesday, that the Army is not in possession of Gen. Buhari's certificates, is in direct conflict with what he said on Jan. 4th 2015 on the same issue.

''In an interview with the Punch on Jan. 4th 2015, Brig.-Gen. Olaleye said: 'Every serving and retired Army officer has at least a copy of his certficates and credentials kept in the Nigerian Army while that same serving and retired officer has copies of those same certificates and credentials'.

''Is Brig.-Gen. Olaleye now saying that he did not make that statement? If he did, what has happened between then and now to make him to recant? It will be interesting to know what has transpired between then and now,'' APC said.

But more worrisome, the party said, is the statement credited to Brig.-Gen. Olaleye that there was no evidence that the certificates of all those who joined the army in the early 1960s were verified by the selection board.

''Is he now saying that all those who were commissioned into the officer cadres in the 1960s did not have their certificates verified? Does this not confirm what we said that in trying to destroy Gen. Buhari, the PDP and the Jonathan Administration will end up destroying the army as an institution? Or is it only Gen. Buhari that was commissioned into the army in the 1960s,'' it said.

The party also quoted Gen. Buhari as saying in an affidavit on 24/11/2014 that ''All my academic qualifications documents as filled in my presidential form, President APC/001/2015 are currently with the Secretary Military Board as at the time of this affidavit.''

''Those who are behind the latest controversy should now tell Nigerians what happened to Gen. Buhari's certificates between the time of his affidavit and now,'' it said.

APC said in any case, even if the Army now says it does not have the  certificates of Gen. Buhari, he is still very qualified to run for the country's highest office, as stipulated by the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

The party quoted Section 131 (d) of the Constitution: ''A person shall be qualified for election to the office of President if he has been educated up to at least School Certificate level or its equivalent''

APC said the meaning and interpretation of ''School Certificate level or its equivalent can be found in the Constitution under part IV, Section 318. In that Section, a ''School Certificate or ot equivalent'' is defined quite succinctly thus:

(a) A Secondary School Certificate or its equivalent, Grade II Teacher's Certificate, the City and Guilds Certificate; or

(b) Education up to Secondary School Certificate Level; or

(c) Primary Six School Leaving Certificate or its equivalent.

The party said since Brig.-Gen. Olaleye has now confirmed that Gen. Buhari indeed applied to join the Army from form six, that the principal of the school he attended even attested to his suitability, and that the form he filled contained his Secondary School Certificate results, there is no scintilla of doubt about his qualification to run for president as stipulated by the Constitution.

''However, we know that the PDP and the Jonathan Administration have constituted themselves into a court of law and will like nothing more than the disqualification of our candidate so they will face no challenge in next month's election. This is wishful thinking,'' it said.

APC said the PDP and the Jonathan Administration should expend their energy on how to revive their floundering campaign instead of seeking the disqualification of its (APC) candidate.

On the contradictions in the statements credited to the Army spokesman, the party said: ''It is true that our once globally-respected military has now been made comatose by the PDP-led Federal Government, but we believe things have not reached the level where the same military will be engaging in actions that amount to self destruction, just to satisfy some political interests.

''We believe things have not reached a level where we, as a nation, will now be giving the impression that a man who rose to become a Major-General in the Nigerian Army does not have requisite qualifications?

''What really is happening in our country if some politicians have now decided to engage in an action that will amount to dragging the military into politics, dividing an institution that is a symbol of national unity, trivializing the service of those who fought to keep Nigeria one and ridiculing the same country it is supposed to be ruling?

''We have said it before and will like to repeat: Enough is enough about this distraction orchestrated by the PDP and the Jonathan Administration whose electioneering campaign for next month's polls has suffered a train wreck,'' the party said

PHOTO OF THE DAY: BRUISED..BUT MARRIAGE MUST GOES ON!!!

....your comment pls.

Source: Linda Ikeji's blog

ACTRESS GEORGINA ONUOHA : MY FAILED MARRIAGE..'PAIN OF FEELING WORTHLESS & USED'...

 

Georgina Onuoha’s marriage packed up a few years ago. She took to her Facebook page to talk about it for the first time says its a pain of feeling worthless and used. Continue...

PLEASE DONT LAUGH: TIGER WOOD FRONT TEETH KNOCKED OFF IN ITALY....

 Please don’t laugh, one of the tooth of legendary golfer Tiger Woods was knocked out today by an overeager cameraman. It was gathered that ,"During a crush of photographers at the awards' podium at the World Cup event in Italy, a media member with a shoulder-mounted video camera pushed and surged towards the stage, turned and hit Tiger Woods in the mouth,' Woods' agent Mark Steinberg said.

Tiger had no choice but to reveal the gap in his teeth as he congratulated his girlfriend. The media and fans at the event didn't even know Tiger was there as he had covered his face with a mask in a bid to stay undiscovered until he revealed himself to his girlfriend. Hahahaha.....

SOCIAL MEDIA REDUCES STRESS...SURVEY

What’s social media doing to us? Is it stressing us out with its never-ending pings announcing new baby pictures, engagements, and unimportant messages to respond to? Or is it keeping us connected to people, and therefore happier?

In a survey conducted by Pew called the Perceived Stress Scale, or PSS, which asks how often, in the last 30 days, someone has been upset by something that happened unexpectedly, felt out of control, and so on , and in asking them very specific questions about how and how often the respondents used social media.

In women, though, “the use of some technologies is tied to lower stress” — albeit to a modest extent.

Specifically, a woman “who uses Twitter several times per day, sends or receives 25 emails per day, and shares two digital pictures through her mobile phone per day, scores 21% lower on our stress measure than a woman who does not use these technologies at all.”

In other words, women might be, on average, better than men at putting social media to psychologically healthy uses:

Sharing through email, sending text messages of pictures of events shortly after they happen and expressing oneself through the small snippets of activity allowed by Twitter may provide women with a low-demand and easily accessible coping mechanism that is not experienced or taken advantage of by men. It is also possible that the use of these media replaces activities or allows women to re-organize activities that would otherwise be more stressful.

 Source:  new survey from Pew  

Photo credit: SHOLA 

ABOMINATION: 18-YEAR OLD GIRL REVEALED PLANS TO MARRY HIS DAD AFTER DATING HIM FOR 2 YEARS

Weird world, an 18-year-old woman from the Great Lakes region describes her romantic relationship of almost two years with the biological father she met after 12 years of estrangement. The 18-year-old girl has revealed plans to marry him and have his children! Read the excerpt below:

What was your family like when you were growing up?
My parents had me when they were 18 — they met in high school and I was conceived on prom night. They were serious for about six months but broke up while my mom was still pregnant with me. My dad wasn’t there when I was born. I think my mom’s psychological problems meant the relationship never really worked out. She has bipolar disorder and some other mental health issues. They just weren’t happy and didn’t really keep in contact after I was born. She wanted to do it alone. When she’s manic it’s hard to know what she’s going to say. After I was born she had a nervous breakdown and couldn’t take care of me, so I lived with her grandparents until I was about 2. I think that’s part of the reason we’ve never been close: We didn’t bond when I was a baby.

Did you have any contact with your father when you were a child?
He briefly came back into my life when I was about 3 or 4 and I saw him on weekends until I was about 5. He lived about an hour away from us and my parents constantly argued about visitation. He was always doing the drive to see me because my mom wasn’t very fond of it — she wouldn’t even meet him halfway.

.......my father and I didn’t end up meeting for two more years, so there was no contact for 12 years — we were reunited when I was 17. 

So can you remember what it was like the moment you and your dad were reunited? Was there an instant attraction?
It was so weird and confusing. I was seeing my dad for the first time in forever but it was also like, He’s so good-looking! And then I was like, What the hell are you thinking? What is wrong with you? I saw him as my dad but then also part of me was like, I’m meeting this guy who I have been talking to over the internet and really connecting with and I find him attractive.

Was there a single moment you realized that you were sexually and romantically attracted to your dad?
After I had stayed with him for about five days.

.........then the third night I fell asleep with him on the floor lying on his chest, in his arms. The fourth night rolled around and we ended up on the floor again. This time we actually cuddled. When he woke up, we were spooning. I didn’t know this at the time but later, after we admitted our feelings, he told me he had had “morning wood” and had gone to fix it.

Did you feel it?
No, I was asleep and he quietly snuck off to the bathroom. 

........ That night we were play-wrestling in the room I was going to sleep in and I bit him. He was wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a tank top and after I bit him I could see goose bumps pop up from his toes to his shoulders. Then he pinched my inner thigh and I got goose bumps.

We stopped and said that we didn’t know what was going on but admitted that we had strong feelings for each other. We discussed whether it was wrong and then we kissed. And then we made out, and then we made love for the first time. That was when I lost my virginity.

What was it like?
There’s a reason I lost my virginity to him — because I’d never felt comfortable with any other man. It was insanely sensual. It lasted for about an hour and there was a lot of foreplay. We both had orgasms. We are so similar, so it’s so easy to sexually please each other. For example, we both love neck-biting. I’ve never been in a more passionate, loving, fulfilling situation.

I’m curious, given the age gap and the perceived power dynamic, did you feel forced or coerced at all?
Absolutely not. He made sure I wanted to do it. We both initiated it and he kept asking me if I was okay, not because he thought I was distressed but because he wanted me to know that we could stop at any point. It was like any other man and woman having sex after they had each admitted their feelings. 

What was it like afterward?
It wasn’t weird at all. It felt so natural. It didn’t even feel taboo. I felt like I had just made love with a man who I’d been with for years. 

.....We plan to move to New Jersey where we can be safe under the law, since adult incest isn’t illegal there, and once I’m there I’ll tell everyone. I’ll call my mom and let her know that we are in love and we are having children. If she wants to see her grandkids we’ll send her money and she can drive to see us. Once we are out about it I won’t be comfortable going back to my hometown. What if someone calls the cops?

So would you have kids together, or would you adopt?
We’ll have kids together.

Do you think you have something special that other couples don’t?
I think we have a better relationship than any couple I’ve met because our bond is so strong. I just feel so close to him and so in love with him. We are almost two years into the relationship and I’m still head over heels with that “first few weeks in love” feeling. Everybody says we are the cutest couple they’ve ever seen. I took him to prom. 

.........When you are 18 you know what you want. You’re an adult under the law and you’re able to consent. I can take care of myself. I don’t need protection. If I were in a situation where I needed to get out I would. I’m not afraid to defend myself. My mom taught me self-defense, whether it be stabbing someone in the eye with a mascara brush or kicking a man in the crotch, and she was careful to teach me about inappropriate touching. From a very young age she told me not to listen to the classic things an abuser might say, like when they tell you to keep it secret or that they will kill you or your family.

Source: http://nymag.com/scienceofus/index.html

Photo  credit: Laurence Mouton/PhotoAlto/Corbis