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| Mrs.Omodolapo Yetunde Olotu-Jagha(1971-2013) |
I bid you farewell…………………………………………..
I am grateful to God that I will rest in His bosom and I
am more grateful because I have always wanted this opportunity to speak my mind
even unto death. I guess you are surprised that even the dead can air an
opinion; in my case I really wanted to because I knew that God was preparing a
place for me and that is where I will be. Do not weep for so long
because I found eternal peace in Him. The very peace that has eroded me in
about twelve years of my God given years (at the time of this writing I am
forty-one years of age and I have been married for twelve years). This is my
story………
I am Yetunde nee Olotu as I am fondly called by my
immediate family in Nigeria but here I am being referred to as
Omodolapo Jagha as named by the love of my life. Now,
I am Dolapo GoodGod , the surname I adopted when I realized that I
no longer have a husband who will be there for me. The very man I should expect
to be the Master of ceremony at my burial, the man you think would miss my
departure the most but unfortunately not. I believe my estranged husband is
glad that he is now free from the bondage called marriage.
Noble Jagha, I hope you feel so happy now that your
prophesy to Maryam Hassan and other girlfriends of yours that I will soon die
so you can marry them is now fulfilled. The truth is that my body may be dead
but my hope of glory in heaven is constant as God lives. I may not be here
again but I am so sure you will never find anyone to love you the way I did……
You were my first love, the very man who deflowered me but turned his back on
me years after that I was not good on bed (not sexy enough for you),
I was not good at cooking but I managed to learn and cook your local meal of
Starch and Banga. He said, “I was so paranoid” because I complained that you
are only comfortable making phone calls in the car and returning home
at midnight. You finally abandoned me and the children in December, 2012
after all the mental and physical abuse I suffered from you.
You could not face
the wrath of law as I got a safety and protection order against you because I
was afraid that you would eventually take my life. While you lived with us, you
were of no use, as you were not readily available to do your matrimonial and
fatherly duties. How painful it was to take the twins to school
walking all the way from Ongar to Little Pace, sometimes after getting a chemo.
Even when I pleaded with you to look after the kids when I have appointments at
the hospital you refused. Thank God for the Irish government (HSE) that
provided me with home help (Margaret), my cousin, grandma
Odelade, Sola and S. Bimbo (my wonderful sisters in church), my
friend, confidant (Gbemi) who stuck to me like a sister,
she is known in all our kids’ school as their guardian because you were not
there. You found solace in your numerous, “your attraction” as you referred to
the choir leader and probably your new sizzling romance Sheila Luxembor whom
you kept my kids with without my consent. I hope she told you I rang her and
made peace with her when I did no wrong (Yeah, I did this to secure my heaven).
Hhhhmmmm……….the Lord is my strength.
Oti, how do you feel after physically and mentally
tormenting me? You can now be happy that “the living corpse” (as you often
referred to me) in your home has finally gone to be with God. You no longer
have to hit me or pounce on me anymore. In death I have forgiving you because I
loved you but I hope you are able to forgive yourself…….? I cannot forget in a
minute how I felt so let down that I took to my heels and sought refuge in that
sister’s place and later on at the women’s refuge. I am sure your defense is
that I died as a cancer patient but I believe I could live a day longer if you
were there for me…… I went through the pains of Cancer lonely!
Rather than supporting, you rejected me. Isn’t marriage meant to be for better
or for worse.….? I hope when I remember how childish you were for taking the
boot you bought for me and returning the wrist watch I bought for you I can
peacefully sigh a relief for leaving this cruel world. You were so mean to me!
Oti, you were really mean to Emmanuella too. How could you ill-treat your own
children because they are girls? I have all the horrible text messages you sent
to me documented; psychologically you killed me before my death.
Pastor Jagha, a man of God! The church has failed in
their duty to help you from fallen, they have pampered you for doing wrong in
order to save their face and invariably they have failed me. Church is meant
for sinners irrespective of their position and as such no one should be above
chastising. I hope after my demise our father in the Lord would have enough
evidence to correct the wrong of my beloved husband. No wonder my so-called
husband was able to trick the church who also lured me to take off the safety
and protection order and stop me from getting a separation that I so long for.
On my dying bed I made copies of telephone bills showing his immoral
communication with a worker in the church at Athlone but there was
still no sufficient evidence……… The church that should be a place of refuge
became a place of torment for me. I hope you can also enjoy your new
relationship with Sheila, I learnt you told some of your church members that I
asked her to look after my kids because I was sick in the hospital whereas she
keeps malice with me just because of your sex romp with her. Oti, you left my
children at home for two days and went to sleep with your girl friend in
Athlone. You also asked my under-aged children to travel on bus to Athlone by
themselves while I was on the hospital bed. I loved you but you failed me and
you know it.
The bitter pill that I have to swallow is the fact that I
can no longer be there for my lovely girls .Their beloved father despised them
so because I could not make a male child (you claimed that I was unable to have
a boy child because I did not drink from the anointing oil which you asked me
to drink and that makes you detest me too). I am deeply sorry that I did not
drink it; maybe that would have spared me of some lashes. Our lovely
first daughter at age twelve said, “Mummy I don’t think I will get married”
This is as a result of the abuse that my child suffered from our marriage… If
you are a loved one and you know my daughter, please help me say to her that
marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured….. I want her to be married and make
me proud!
Oti, why do you always run away from your problems rather
than resolving them? You left Nigeria because of your
involvement in fraud at the bank which you never resolved. As I
speak you owe my mother a sum of one million, two hundred thousand naira which
you have no plan to repay. How come you had issues even with your
own sibling in the U.K to such an extent that you poisoned
her…..? That is the more reason why I was so scared for my
life. You are such a difficult person, the community welfare
officer , our GP, Olive at Hartstown , the Child protection unit at Finglas and
our father in the Lord tried their best to advise you to no avail. You were not
ready to make me happy.
Noble Jagha, you wanted me dead as soon as
possible. I still wonder why you refused to come with me for
separation times and again when I asked that we should part ways. I know your
intent may be to make gains from my years of labour at Anpost. I worked so hard
to pay the rent, to feed us and even paid some of your fees to pursue your MBA.
Despite all my effort you were never satisfied, even on my sick bed you
demanded for money…..I hope you are happy that you have them all and you can
feed your numerous girlfriends with them. I plead with you and I
besiege all that reads this to appeal to you that you do the following after my
demise which is of utmost importance (I hope you will heed advice for once).
1. That you may
put in trust/fixed deposit for my daughters all monies raised from my burial
and benefits from my workplace having paid all expenses incurred and other
personal loan taking from my friends during my period of illness. My daughters
need to know I care for them even in my grave.
2. That, I have
a will in which I have named the executors to my will and joint custodians of
our children. The lawyer will keep you posted in due course, please adhere!
3. Oti you can
also pay any money that you owe from the monies before the account is opened.
4. Kindly pay my
mother the money you owe her too before the account is fixed.
5. I want my
mother to be a part of my children’s life, please don’t deprive her.
6. Oti make
peace with my family and friends (stop making enemies out of the people that
helps me).
Oti, it may surprise you but I have to let you know that
I have the password to your facebook account and email accounts! How
come I am not on your friend list? Why did you also refuse to tell me the cause
of your mother’s death? I know she died of cancer! Hmmmm
Oti does not love me; he could not stay with me in
sickness despite the fact that I loved him more than my children. Hhmmmm
I hope my mother can forgive me for not heeding her
advice in respect of my choice of marriage and I pray that God gives her and my
father the fortitude to bear this irreparable lost.
It is too late to cry when the head is off.
Thank you for not leaving me alone in my time of troubles
and needs my sisters, thank you sister for going to Olive’s school, please
follow up with Emmanuel as planned, I don’t want my children to suffer. I am so
worried …..I am tired.
I don’t want you people to go, don’t leave me alone. I
want someone to sleep here with me tonight.
signed.
Omodolapo GoodGod
27/04/2013.
SOURCE: Dare Lasisi
Photo Credit: Supradex.com
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